© Liaise® Mediated Solutions, LLC 2012

A large portion of this company’s California mediation practice focuses on assisting couples seeking to end their marriage through mediation as opposed to litigation. It is amazing to me how often couples seeking our guidance come in with well ingrained false notions regarding spousal support as it operates under California law. With the amount of misinformation on the internet, I find myself constantly reeducating couples on the truths of spousal support. The three misconceptions below come up so often I felt compelled to address them. Read below to see if you are a victim of false information.

One of 3 general misconceptions is often at the root of having to reeducate a party from what they have gleaned off of the Internet or from poorly informed friends.

Myth # 1 – Spousal Support Is an Absolute Right.

Spousal support is not mandatory in dissolution or legal separation proceedings. As a matter fact, quite the contrary is true. Courts have broad discretion to deny spousal support altogether ( ¹).

Before a judge orders or denies spousal support there must first be a careful consideration of the legal factors ( ²). These factors shed light on how the earning capacity of each party is, or is not, enough to maintain the lifestyle established during the marriage taking into account all of the following 15 factors:

(1) The marketable skills of the supported party; the job market for those skills; the time and expenses required for the supported party to acquire the appropriate education or training to develop those skills; and the possible need for retraining or education to acquire other, more marketable skills or employment.

(2) The extent to which the supported party’s present or future earning capacity is impaired by periods of unemployment that were incurred during the marriage to permit the supported party to devote time to domestic duties.

(3) The extent to which the supported party contributed to the attainment of an education, training, a career position, or a license by the supporting party.

(4) The ability of the supporting party to pay spousal support, taking into account the supporting party’s earning capacity, earned and unearned income, assets, and standard of living.

(5) The needs of each party based on the standard of living established during the marriage.

(6) The obligations and assets, including the separate property, of each party.

(7) The duration of the marriage.

(8) The ability of the supported party to engage in gainful employment without unduly interfering with the interests of dependent children in the custody of the party.

(9) The age and health of the parties.

(10) Documented evidence of any history of domestic violence, as defined in Section 6211, between the parties, including, but not limited to, consideration of emotional distress resulting from domestic violence perpetrated against the supported party by the supporting party, and consideration of any history of violence against the supporting party by the supported party.

(11) The immediate and specific tax consequences to each party.

(12) The balance of the hardships to each party.

(13) The goal that the supported party shall be self-supporting within a reasonable period of time.  Except in the case of a marriage of long duration as described in Section 4336, a “reasonable period of time” for purposes of this section generally shall be one-half the length of the marriage.  However, nothing in this section is intended to limit the court’s discretion to order support for a greater or lesser length of time, based on any of the other factors listed in this section, Section 4336, and the circumstances of the parties.

(14) The criminal conviction of an abusive spouse shall be considered in making a reduction or elimination of a spousal support award in accordance with Section 4325.

(15) Any other factors the court determines are just and equitable.

Clearly doing this evaluation is a daunting task. Even if you do not go through each one, take a special look at the crucial “15th” factor; “Any Other Factors the Court Determines Are Just and Equitable“. Many Family Law practitioners refer to this factor as the “Wild Card”.

In California the issue of determining spousal support becomes even more complicated. This is because of the fact that the single largest line-item in any family budget is, generally, housing. When you split up a single household and attempt to support two separate households there is rarely enough money to go around guaranteeing both parties the same standards they enjoyed during marriage.

When you are contemplating how all of the above factors impact upon your individual situation also think about this.  On the Judgment( ³) form which is used in every single dissolution action in California the following words appear:

“NOTICE: It is the goal of this state that each party shall make reasonable good faith efforts to become self-supporting as provided for in section 4320 of the family code. The failure to make reasonable good faith efforts may be one of the factors considered by the court as a basis for modifying or terminating support.”

So there you have it. It is the express public policy of the state of California that everybody supports themselves.

Where does that leave two people thinking about divorcing and trying to plan for their separate futures?

On the one hand, by no means is spousal support impossible. It happens and is so ordered, every day. On the other hand, those seeking support are walking into the headwind of the stated public policy of California. The answer to this question, like so many questions in legal proceedings, is that it is better to negotiate an agreement on the issue of spousal support rather than leave it to the recklessly spinning “Wheel of Misfortune” ( ⁴) that is litigation.

Looking for a Divorce (family issues) dispute Mediator? Call or Contact for Free Mediation Consultation in San Francisco, the Bay Area or throughout California by on-line video conference!

Myth # 2 – After 10 Years Spousal Support Is “Guaranteed for Life”.

Being married for more than 10 years does not cause one party to become the “indentured servant” of the other party. We learned from Myth #1 that spousal support, if any, the amount of spousal support, and the duration of that spousal support is determined by a careful balancing and weighing of legal factors( ⁵).

The confusion on this point might be traceable to Family Code §4336. This section makes it clear that in a marriage of “long duration” the court retains jurisdiction indefinitely on the issue of spousal support. This section clarifies that there is a presumption that a marriage of 10 years or more is a marriage of long duration. This means the door to the court remains open, but there is no guarantee that support will be ordered.

The same factors that must be weighed and balanced when the divorce is fresh must also be evaluated at any step down the road when a party is seeking spousal support. If the supported party has not made reasonable good faith efforts to become self-supporting they may find themselves denied in any future application for continuing support.

Myth # 3 – The Amount of Spousal Support Is Determined by a Computer Program.

I can’t tell you how many times we have couples come to our offices and one or the other will say, “We already know what the spousal support amount is, we ran the number”. To which we must reply no, no, no. If only it were that simple.

The law is the law. Family Code section 4320 must be followed in ascertaining the proper amount of spousal support.

This confusion comes from the fact that the computer programs that allow a court to calculate proper child support also have a function to determine proper temporary spousal support.

The typical situation is as follows:

1.  There’s a marriage and the breadwinner decides that he or she has had enough and moves out.
2.  The supported spouse files for dissolution or legal separation.
3.  Courts move very slowly and there won’t be a trial on this matter for 18 to 24 months( ⁶). What’s a party to do?

Sadly, it is true that there are a lot of lazy lawyers and lazy judges who rely on this temporary support calculation to calculate long-term support. This is an error. It is settled law in California that temporary spousal support computer programs cannot be used to determine “permanent” spousal support. It is also very clear in the law that the number produced by a temporary spousal support calculator cannot even be used as a “jumping off point” to begin negotiations of proper spousal support. The required weighing of legal factors cannot be delegated to a mere computer program ( ⁹).

So where does this leave people looking to end their marriage?

The fact of the matter is it leaves them in the very best position to determine what appropriate spousal support is in their unique situation. It also makes it clear that it is ill-advised to try and arrive at that number in anything other than a thoughtful, negotiated method. The parties who’ve been husband and wife must sit down together and do their best to plan how they will manage to live separately. Attempting to do it any other way is wasteful, expensive and very stressful. It is smart to attempt this task in the form of a “supported conversation” with a professional mediator, well-trained in family law and finance who can assist the parties in arriving at the best resolution possible.

David D. Stein has been an attorney for 20 years and the founder of Liaise® Divorce Solutions.  He is a trained mediator, dispute resolution specialist and lecturer on non-violent conflict management techniques and tools.

© Liaise® Mediated Solutions, LLC 2012

At a recent presentation of San Francisco Divorce attorneys designed to provide information to the public, an interesting comment was raised by an attendee. The conversation had been focused on the benefits of divorce mediation and how it can lead to more expeditious and better balanced resolutions to marital problems. The attendee raised her hand and stated words to the effect that she and her husband could not use mediation because, “the only issue between them was child support”.

I pointed out to her that in a very large percentage of the cases that we mediate at our company child support is often an issue. She responded that because child support is a calculation that considers the income of the parties and the “timeshare” of the children there was nothing to negotiate or mediate.

Although, in a sense, what she says is true, it is also true that the nuanced vagaries of day-to-day life and child care needs give rise to many areas of disagreement that should be mediated, not litigated.

It is a fact that the child support guidelines contained in such software programs as DissoMaster will generate a child support number based upon income and custodial time; it is also true that in many families these broad-stroke calculations do not go far enough to ascertain and address true family needs.

In many cases one party will be more involved in clothes shopping, school supplies shopping, enrichment programs and the like. It is only fair that the party who is paying for such costs and activities have the appropriate adjustments made to the child support received or their obligation to pay child support.

Similarly, in many families, where there are two wage earners, it is appropriate that neither party pay any child support to the other, but instead both contribute regularly to a program designed to offset costs of future education expenses.

The point of this article is that it is always best for a family to decide together what an appropriate amount of child support is. To take the round peg that is your family and try to jam it into the square hole that is the broadly drafted “child support guidelines” is oftentimes a mistake. Every family is unique. It is entirely appropriate that each family be the architects of their own plan for the future.

Of course, any stipulation for child support between parents must pass judicial scrutiny. However, it is the experience of this firm that whenever a family chooses to deviate from California’s prescribed guidelines and is credibly able to show cause why it is in the family best interest to do so, the court will allow their agreement.

In short, there is no area of family conflict that is not amenable to mediation. No couple should ever be in a position where they must defer to the authority of a judge to determine what is in the best interests of their child.

David D. Stein has been an attorney for over 20 years and is the founder of Liaise® Divorce Solutions . He is a lawyer, expert divorce mediator, dispute resolution specialist and lecturer on non-violent conflict management techniques and tools.

Looking for a Divorce (family issues) dispute Mediator? Call or Contact for Free Mediation Consultation in San Francisco, the Bay Area or throughout California by on-line video conference!

© Liaise® Mediated Solutions, LLC 2012

At a recent informal gathering of San Francisco divorce attorneys I was asked to opine on child rearing, custody and visitation issues. The following is an encapsulation of that dissertation.

There are, in my opinion, 5 little words that allow the human race to continue to propagate. When you are single, or just married and thinking about children, and look around a crowded restaurant in disbelief at the messy, disorderly, shockingly rude children terrorizing the patrons, you think those 5 words to yourself, “My kids will be different”.

Yes, of course.

When you do have children you soon must face the fact that the nature of the beast is such that kids are just kids and that your kids are, if you are lucky, not much different, from the rest of the pack.

There is no more gratifying and simultaneously maddening job than that of parent. You work real hard to give them what they need and, perhaps, a bit more. Are you ever properly thanked for your endeavors? Not likely. But, sometimes, if the moon and stars are aligned just right your offspring may hug you, or kiss you, and say, “I love you”. Your heart melts, tears well in your eyes and for a brief moment all the expense and sacrifice seems worthwhile. Then without fanfare the moment quickly passes and you go back to your delegated roles of cook, maid and walking ATM.

Such is modern parenting in this waking dream we call life.

Many times when you are raising your children you may wish that the little brats had come with a manual. It would be great to have a guide from the manufacturer to consult when you are trying to make difficult child raising decisions. But of course, every child and every family is unique. There is no guide that can tell you with certainty what you should do in any particular situation.

This is not to say that there are no guidelines to which the enlightened parent should strive to abide. My training is in inter-personal communications and law. So I am in no way academically qualified to opine on this subject, but I’ve seen a lot and mediated quite a few “child custody” disputes and it seems to me that there should be at least 2 oaths that every parent can swear and be a better parent for doing so.

First, be like a doctor, Do No Harm. Growing up is hard. Do your best not to make it any harder for your kids. Eschew violence. It solves nothing and only teaches the false and dangerous lesson that “might makes right”. Remember that shouting and verbal abuse is a form of violence and is equally damaging to young people. Don’t do it. Just because you may have been raised with the occasional spanking or slap, and that is how you think parenting is done, rise above it. Your kids are precious and deserve your best efforts to be rational and creatively communicative.

Second, Lead By Example. Try to be the best parent, and person, that you can be. Do your best at work, at home and at every task to which you turn your hand. Isn’t that exactly what you would want your child to do? You too must continually strive to achieve your full potential. I know, I know, it’s hard to always be that person. I live in a house that is 99% glass, so you know I’m not throwing any stones. This oath, to my mind, doesn’t mean that you can’t, for instance, drink. It means you can’t be a drunk, or let alcohol interfere with your life. Likewise it doesn’t mean that you have to be the richest, or the most decorated, or the very highest achiever in any given field, it means that you endeavor resolutely to do your best and share the satisfying experience with your children of knowing that you gave your all. Teach that happiness is a byproduct of doing good work.

Whenever Liaise Divorce Solutions is involved in mediating a child custody dispute we always try to get parties to discuss their philosophy and style of child rearing. It is startling to hear that so many couples involved in these disputes actually share the same parenting values and style. Often it is revealed that, at root, the so-called child custody dispute is merely a façade behind which hides a “parent v. parent” punishment agenda. In other words, it all boils down to words to the effect that “it isn’t that my ex is such a bad parent, I just think it would be best for the children to spend more time with me”.

Yes, of course.

In child custody/visitation cases where there is no violence, substance abuse or other compelling reason to preclude visitation, the default position should be open, easy and free access to each parent. This is the situation that is best for your children and your children deserve no less.

This notion is fundamental to the Liaise concept of Marital Reorganization®. Like it or not, now and forever, one of you is Mom and one of you is Dad and that is never going to change. Soon you may no longer be husband and wife, but you will always be a family going into the future.

During mediation the Liaise mediator will take out her crystal ball and tell divorcing couples that there will be a Christmas this year, some day there will be a graduation, perhaps a wedding and maybe Grandchildren. The couple has a clear choice – they can greet these blessed events as well adjusted participants in a Marital Reorganization® – or they can be the bitter relics of ruinous divorce litigation. A simple choice. Make it as easy as you can for your children. Do no harm and try to lead by example.

David D. Stein has been an attorney for 20 years and the founder of Liaise® Divorce Solutions. He is a trained mediator, dispute resolution specialist and lecturer on non-violent conflict management techniques and tools.

© Liaise® Mediated Solutions, LLC 2012

We at Liaise are often asked who is the best divorce lawyer? That is a very interesting question. The answer really depends on your definitions and your perspective.

Is the top divorce lawyer the one who makes the most money? Is the best divorce lawyer the one who gets the “best results” for their client? How does one determine what constitutes the best results? Is it “winning” if one party walks away with more money but the family was devastated by the process? Or, is it “winning” if the majority of the family’s estate is still available to educate children, provide for retirement and the family has suffered the least distress possible? There is no way to answer the question without a great many personal judgments.

When faced with a difficult question, it is often best to look to the work of great minds for guidance. There are a great many lawyers, past and present, that are thoroughly admirable. There is one that stands above the rest as an immortal for his intellect, leadership and grace under fire.

That lawyer is Abraham Lincoln. His words and deeds are inspirational and serve as a timeless moral compass for how we should always strive to be our best.

As a group of lawyers who have now turned their life’s work to helping people seeking the best uncontested divorce results possible, we at Liaise take comfort in our career choice and feel further validated by this advice to lawyers from the great Mr. Lincoln.

“Discourage litigation. Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can. As a peacemaker the lawyer has superior opportunity of being a good man. There will still be business enough.” Abraham Lincoln.

At Liaise, once parties have negotiated their Marital Settlement Agreement we help the parties find divorce lawyers to review their Agreement before they sign. Liaise keeps a list of top divorce lawyers who are ethical, high-minded and trustworthy. They know that their task in reviewing a Marital Settlement Agreement isn’t to start a battle that was successfully avoided, but to counsel on the content of the Agreement. To make certain that the party understands what the Agreement says and that the Agreement will accomplish what the party thinks it will accomplish. This type of engagement of a divorce lawyer costs a few hundred dollars instead of the tens of thousands of dollars it would cost to engage a divorce lawyer to litigate.

So, to answer the question, the best divorce lawyer, a truly top divorce lawyer is one that is a peacemaker, discourages litigation and facilitates the parties’ sensible choice to avoid a fight and compromise where they can to keep the financial and emotional cost of their divorce as low as possible.

In point of fact the title Family Attorney is often a misnomer. Many so-called Family Lawyers are advocates for a single member of the family and serve only the interest of the divorcing husband or wife. They have no duty to, or interest in, the well being of the family. There job is to get the most money or property for their client and nothing else. They have sharp tactics and strategies to either minimize or maximize [depending on which client they serve in the case] the support that may be ordered. Sadly and regrettably, they will coldly use children as pawns to advance the single minded purpose of one party over the other.

These aren’t Family Lawyers; they are wolves in sheep’s clothing.

At Liaise we believe that to be a true Family Advocate you must be neutral. You cannot unthinkingly advance the cause of one party at the expense of the other. You must assist the parties in finding common ground that allows for a mutually agreeable balance of interests.

Where children are involved in a marital dissolution, Liaise urges the parties to adopt our proprietary system of Marital Reorganization℠ instead of an ordinary divorce. Marital Reorganization℠ recognizes that even though the Husband and wife may soon be unmarried people, they are now, and will always be, Mother and Father. There are many Thanksgiving, Christmas and family holidays to come. In the future there will be graduations and weddings to attend. There may be the birth of grandchildren and if that time comes, you will then each be Grandmother and Grandfather. So much better to realize that you are still, and always well be, a family. You are just a new kind of family, and you need to start getting along as well as possible, as soon as possible.

The Liaise lawyer/mediators are steeped in this philosophy and will tirelessly work with you to achieve the smoothest transition possible to your reorganized family.

David D. Stein has been an attorney for over 20 years and is the founder of Liaise^® Divorce Solutions. He is a trained mediator, dispute resolution specialist and lecturer on non-violent conflict management techniques and tools.

Looking for a Divorce (family issues) dispute Mediator? Call or Contact for Free Mediation Consultation in San Francisco, the Bay Area or throughout California by on-line video conference!

The sensible person would run, not walk, run, away from anyone offering a service with this kind of label.

Undeniably divorce is a very difficult situation.  If the family had been a single wage earner situation, then that person may very well feel as if they are being unfairly targeted and seen as solely responsible for the future financial security of the family.  Such a feeling is isolating and alienating.  This is true whether that sole wage earner is a man or a woman.

There are many studies supporting the proposition that divorce is one of the most agonizing events a person can endure.  It is right up there with death and serious illness in its’ negative impact on one’s mental, and physical well-being.  This is equally true for men and women.

For the purposes of this article, let us agree that a divorce is, in many ways, a disaster.  As in any other disaster, a crucial survival trait is maintaining a “positive mental attitude”.  The right attitude can mean the difference between life and death if you are caught in a snowstorm, earthquake or shipwreck.  It also makes all the difference when going through a divorce.

You are not embracing a positive mental attitude to think of the divorce as “me versus my spouse”.  Indeed, such an attitude is a guarantee of a difficult, expensive experience.

Looking for a Divorce (family issues) dispute Mediator? Call or Contact for Free Mediation Consultation in San Francisco, the Bay Area or throughout California by on-line video conference!
The divorce mediators at Liaise can help to create a divorce dynamic where it is much easier to adopt a positive mental attitude.   A proper mental attitude in a divorce situation is, “we got into this together, we’ll get out of this together and, hopefully, we will come to the most mutually favorable terms possible”.  It is immature to think that there is such a thing as a “winner” in a divorce.  What is winning?  Does it mean that you end up with everything and your spouse is plunged into poverty?  Does that definition strike you as intelligent or becoming of a rational person?  Certainly not.  It is much better to work together towards a resolution that enables both parties to carry on their lives with the least amount of disruption and displacement possible.

Psychologists, and experienced, humane family law lawyers agree; divorce is difficult for men, divorce is difficult for women, divorce is difficult for families.  The way to assure that your divorce is as pain-free as possible is to use professional mediation and engage in a supported conversation designed to guide you towards the most equitable resolution possible.

David D. Stein has been an attorney for over 20 years and is the founder of Liaise^® Divorce Solutions.  He is a trained mediator, dispute resolution specialist and lecturer on non-violent conflict management techniques and tools.

© Liaise® Mediated Solutions, LLC 2012

Many people searching for a Divorce Lawyer in San Francisco contact the Liaise offices. They often ask, do I need a Divorce Attorney?

The answer is No – and Yes.

No, you do not need, and should avoid, a divorce litigator. A litigator being a trial attorney skilled in the tactics of trial craft, trained to eagerly, and aggressively, battle for their client at any cost. Rest assured that ‘cost” is stunningly high.

Yes, you do need a lawyer knowledgeable in the area of family law. A divorce attorney, or legal counselor, familiar with the parameters of what is fair and reasonable in the law of property division and appropriate child and spousal support amounts and durations.

Divorce attorneys in San Francisco, and throughout California, will tell you that Family Law is complicated. There are sophisticated concepts and nuances that need to be grasped in order to truly understand the depth and scope of issues presented.

This is undeniably quite true. On the other hand, do you really need two lawyers to perform this function? The answer to that question is no. What most couples need is a single divorce attorney to help them to identify issues and work together to arrive at a resolution that works best for that particular family.

In point of fact, that is exactly what you receive when you work with a Liaise mediator. An experienced Family Law attorney, well versed in mediation skills, trained to facilitate and support the achievement of a negotiated settlement.

Do yourself and your family the best favor possible and seek a mediated resolution to your family law dispute.

David D. Stein has been an attorney for over 20 years and is the founder of Liaise^® Divorce Solutions. He is a trained mediator, dispute resolution specialist and lecturer on non-violent conflict management techniques and tools.

Looking for a Divorce (family issues) dispute Mediator? Call or Contact for Free Mediation Consultation in San Francisco, the Bay Area or throughout California by on-line video conference!

Liaise Mediated Solutions, LLC is delighted to inform our friends, colleagues, and referral sources that John Ford, LL. B., has joined the Liaise team.

For those of you are not familiar with John and his impressive body of work: Mr. Ford studied law at the University of Cape Town in South Africa before moving to Namibia where he represented survivors of human rights abuses in addition to practicing employment and family law in the oldest and largest law firm in the country.

John moved to California in 1996 where he began his formal training as a mediator. In 1999 John was commissioned by the legal assistance center of Namibia to write a paper on the viability and applicability of divorce mediation for Namibia. Extracts of this paper have since been re-published by the Canadian Family Law Journal. John continues to write extensively on the subject of conflict resolution and mediation and he is the editor for Mediate.com – the largest internet site devoted exclusively to the subject of mediation.

John also teaches negotiation at UC Hastings School of Law and mediation to PSYD and MFT therapy students at JFK University.

We are very pleased to announce that in addition to the above John Ford is now mediating Marital Reorganizations® and dissolutions with Liaise Mediated Solutions, LLC in downtown San Francisco.

SECOND BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!

Liaise Mediated Solutions has changed its name. Our new brand is:

The Liaise mission has always been to "change the way Americans get divorced". The best way to accomplish this mission is to have a brand that is easily recognized by the consumer. Although our colleagues, customers and referral sources are quite clear on the meaning of the word “Mediate”, we have found that just too many are unaware of the great benefits that mediation can bring to their particular marital situation.

Accordingly, we are adopting the new trade name Liaise Divorce Solutions®. Please tell everybody you know.

THIRD BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!

Liaise divorce solutions has a totally new web site. www.LiaiseDivorce.com.

Please come visit our site and let us know your thoughts and comments. Liaise is very proud of our success rate which is well into the 97th percentile. Equally importantly, our customers say the nicest things about their experience at Liaise.

We continue to develop and finely hone a service that we call "Marital Reorganization®". This is the creation of a mindset in the participants that recognizes, when there are children involved, there is no such thing as divorce. There is only, now and forever, Mother –Father and children. We help them plan appropriately and go into the future not as a broken family, but as a reorganized family.

It is simply amazing what the proper perception and frame of mind can do.

In the words of an enlightened being,

Wishing you all the very best for the coming year!

You are not involved in combat, you are engaged in negotiation. In negotiation you gain more by being reasonable and thoughtful. If you consider the other side’s positions carefully and respond in a measured manner you will find that you achieve much more than by being contentious.
2. DO NOT DEMONIZE YOUR SPOUSE!

© Liaise® Mediated Solutions, LLC 2012

San Francisco, CA.

In California what is popularly known as “divorce” is technically know as an action for marital “dissolution” At Liaise Divorce Solutions, LLC whenever we service a couple that have children that wish to end their marriage, we use the term marital “reorganization” and do not use divorce or dissolution.

Reorganization is a term loosely borrowed from bankruptcy law. Under the bankruptcy codes there are two types of bankruptcy. There is a “liquidation” where the assets of a business entity are sold to pay off creditors and then the company goes out of business and ceases to exist. Then there is the “reorganization” situation where the business just gets some protection from its creditors for a period of time, is allowed to escape some contracts, pay some debts pennies on the dollar, propose a plan and re-emerge as a streamlined, changed and re-focused business.

We at Liaise know that the fastest, easiest, most productive and least painful way to accomplish an intelligent end to a marriage is through mediation. The mediation process itself is easier for couples that have children when both parties agree that whatever decisions made will be done with the “best interests of the children” foremost in their minds.

Once couples agree to the best interests of the children guiding principal, and there is never contention on that issue, we take the next logical step. The Liaise mediator explains that since the marriage was fortunate enough to create children there are certain family roles that will never change. After the mediation process the parties may no longer be husband and wife, but now and forever they are, and will remain, Mommy and Daddy. This means that they will always be a family. They may have different duties, responsibilities and privileges than they do now, but they are still a family. Just a reorganized family.

Liaise is all about helping our customers to plan for their future. As a matter of fact you can think of the marital settlement agreement that is negotiated during mediation as a family reorganization plan. The plan is detailed and comprehensive. It is designed to give as much guidance as possible to the parties and to be flexible enough to help when unforeseen circumstances arise. But most importantly, it is designed to allow the smooth transition into the re-organized marital role of post marriage Father and Mother so that the children of the marriage are comforted to the greatest degree possible and experience the least amount of disruption to their lives.

David D. Stein has been an attorney for over 20 years and is the founder of Liaise© Mediated Solutions. He is a trained mediator, dispute resolution specialist and lecturer on non-violent conflict management techniques and tools.